The Sweetness of Surrender

Sweetness might not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think about surrender but stay with me for a moment.

Surrender in a western world seems to carry with it ideas of force and of something unwanted, defined as "giving something that is yours to someone else because you have been forced to do so or because it is necessary to do so" (Cambridge), "to give up possession of or power over". (Collins) There is truth in this however it seems to be missing parts of the whole meaning- as if it has been lifted out of context, out of the bigger picture, leaving most of us to make the assumption that the something that we are to give up, is truly and rightfully ours alone.

Patanjali tells us that Surrender is the ultimate action, when one is on the yogic path, the culmination of the yamas and niyamas, on the path of self-realisation and peace. It is spoken as Ishavara Pranidhana - usually translated as 'Surrender to God', which in itself can present as an obstacle to our understanding of the essence of this guidance. The 'God' spoken here is not a fixed, paternalistic deity that most avert from, but 'God' as the divine, the universe, 'God' as love and nature, 'God' as an energy that is greater than you and me. With this in mind, perhaps we can start to understand this, as the expanded picture and as surrendering to a knowing that we are parts of a whole, not in isolation, but together.

Perhaps something that the recent COVID-19 pandemic highlighted is the very fact that we are indeed parts of a whole. Interconnected, breathing the same breath; what I breathe and take in coming from everyone around me, and what I give and breathe out reaches and touches spaces beyond my conscious everyday awareness.

Trying to resist this by withdrawing, closing of, usually misguidedly trying to "protect" ourselves, living life as if we are not connected and parts of a whole, comes at the cost of our own suffering and distress, many experiencing this as increased anxiety, perhaps depression.

This kind of surrender Patanjali speaks of however, invites us to step back and look at the whole picture. It asks us to allow life to happen through us and to humbly give permission to the flow of life to manifest through our own existence. A "giving up" perhaps of our Ego, a recognition that there is a "power" bigger than ourselves, that is "necessary" to let go into so that life can flow freely. It directly connects to our ability to be established in the present moment, which I wrote more about in the last blog, able to listen to the rhythm of the universe, and align ourselves to it.

It becomes a dance and a fine balance between acceptance and non-passivity; a recognition of a life force bigger than ourselves, an awareness of a "bigger picture" if you like despite the fact that we are only able to see the bottom right corner of the painting, and at the same time acknowledging our doing and how we influence the part that we occupy.

Echart Tolle talks about acceptance, enjoyment and enthusiasm as the three attitudes that can bring us in alignment with this 'greater than ourselves' power of the universe which I explored a little more closely in a different post.

When those moments arise, when life asks that we accept and trust that what is, is as it should be, can feel excruciatingly challenging. Perhaps we start to notice the fluctuations of the Ego, its wants and its need to do, to be right, to show itself and feel important, to not be lost in the "bigger picture". The practice becomes resisting the temptation to respond but rather, at first, learn to tolerate the intensity of the fluctuation and, hopefully with practice, start to trust and willingly let go, so that life can move at its own pace.

Perhaps we can start to experience the sweet spot when we come to realise that surrender equals trusting and allowing to be held. Maybe, we can use this moment as a practice of that felt sensation.

If you were to close your eyes, in this moment, and imagine what it might feel like if you can place yourself within a space and surrounded by relationships you can completely trust in, safe and secure, being held, in a way that allows you to soften and breathe deeply and completely. Allowing the breath to come and go, allowing life to flow in and out of you, knowing that your only task is to be here, present, everything else being taken care of, for this moment. What does that feel like? Can we engage with each moment in this way? Can we use the breath as the guide to find ourselves in a trusting relationship with the whole?

"The energy behind me is greater than the task ahead" someone reminded me recently, and it came with a wave of comfort and the sweetness of release.

Is it possible, as we move into this next month of cause for celebration for some, cause for intensified feelings of loneliness for others, to step into each moment with a trusting that we are being supported, we are exactly where we should be, and if we allow the breath to move freely, it can carry us into the next moment with an equal feeling of trusting, surrender and sweetness.

If you want to explore this Breathing Body and how it both affects and is affected by our body and our mind come and join us on our next yoga day retreat, Sunday 22nd of January.